I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
