Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
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