Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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