he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
operation harelip BJ is a go
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
