Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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