thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
