Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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