Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
