MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
