If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
