lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
