I love black thongs
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
