Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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