So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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