Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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