would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
