It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize