I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
