I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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