absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize