Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
