Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
