He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
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so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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