Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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