Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
