I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
