i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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