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terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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