Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize