Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We're not piercing ourselves today.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
