I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
