We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
