we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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