The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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