Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize