He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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