I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
