Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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