uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
