Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
