I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
