the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
