Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
