Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Your penis caused this!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize