I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
