your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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