I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize