dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
