I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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