just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
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He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
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You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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