And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
