Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
