:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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