Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
