I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
