shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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