so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
