The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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