I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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