lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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