I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
