it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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