I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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