she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I want to be your penis for a week.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
