dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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