also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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