The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
