i always forget guys have bellybuttons
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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