I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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